3 Types of Coffee No One Should Try

posted in: Coffee, Uncategorized | 0

There seems to be some sort of assumption that coffee enthusiasts are willing to drink any type of coffee, regardless of origin. Well, the buck stops here. Aside from violating God’s food laws, and utilizing unethical means of collection, some of these “specialty” coffees only serve to activate a certain puke factor. Without further ado, here are three types of coffee no one should be drinking – ever.

Elephant Poop Coffee
I wish I could just stop with the name, but let’s dig in. After knocking cat poop coffee down a peg, elephant poop coffee grew in popularity to become the most expensive coffee in existence, – going for a rate of $1000 per pound. The coffee is consumed, and broken down as it passes through the elephant’s stomach. Once it is passed by the elephant, individuals sort through droppings to collect beans. From there, the coffee beans are processed, dried in the sun, packaged, and shipped. So what’s the problem? Elephants are unclean, as described here. Furthermore, the animals are held in captivity in order to collect their droppings, and gather the goods.

Kopi Luwak: Cat Poop Coffee
While Kopi Luwak coffee is the second most expensive types of coffee, reserved for 5 star hotels, there’s a dark side lurking in the shadows. If you found yourself sipping on a hot mug of steaming poo water, you might think you’re life was headed down the tubes. For the Civet responsible for producing Kopi Luwak coffee, their life is already in the toilet, literally. In a cement lined row of kennels, civets live in small wire enclosures just big enough to walk around in. Here they are fed a steady diet of coffee cherries in order to keep up with demand. Otherwise, these animals have no access to running water, live plants, grass, or anything they might experience in the wild. Kopi Luwak coffee is produced by gathering the beans passed by a Civet, in order to process into a prepared bag of coffee beans.

Jacu Bird Coffee
Poop. More poop. Never a shortage of poop. Native to Brazil, the Jacu bird feeds on coffee cherries much like the Civet. Workers of a plantation situated Pedra Azul, Espirito Santo fill their days gathering coffee beans passed by the Jacu birds. Before packaging, and shipment, the collected beans are cleaned and processed. People actually buy this stuff, and it is in fact considered to be a delicacy in 5 star hotels and the like. Why wouldn’t I line up to try even one cup of Jacu bird coffee? Because it starts with bird poop, need I say more? Countless diseases are linked to birds living in poor conditions, in addition to Lyme disease, and more. This isn’t to say that Jacu bird coffee has caused any health concerns, I am just not willing to take the risk. Next.

Bonus: Panda Dung Tea
This one is not as disgusting as it sounds, and far superior to those mentioned above. Points are deducted for being tea, though. In no way does this tea contain panda dung, or pass through the organs or body of a panda. Rather, the tea itself is grown with the help of panda dung fertilizer. As one of the most expensive teas on the market, it should come as no surprise to learn of panda dung tea running 50 grams for $3,500. As a type of green tea, this “premium” tea appeals to a large crowd, but at a price of $200 per cup.

Finally Thoughts
And that’s it! If you have tried some of the aforementioned coffee or tea products, don’t forget to leave a comment. Would you try it again?

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